As You Wish

In case you were wondering Juanita is me. My birthday was Friday and I celebrated with my family Friday night and with some friends Saturday night at a local Mexican food restaurant. When it came time to sing the birthday song the employees of the restaurant told me my name was Juanita…? I had a few drinks by that time, so it was funny.

I’m like a little kid when it comes to my birthday; I always get so excited about it. I think it’s so much fun to have a party and get everyone together. Oh and... it’s more of a birthweek than a birthday. I mean why not celebrate for a whole week? I think it’s a good idea.

For my birthday I was given:

• A Nikon Coolpix S51 (which is pretty sweet) and a diamond heart shaped necklace (diamonds are my favorite) from Andrew. He is such a good listener; he got me exactly what I wanted. Many kisses are sent your way Andrew. XOXO
  

• A necklace and small stuffed bear that had a note that said “Bear Hug from Montana.” It’s super cute. The bear also had some chocolates with huckleberry filling attached. If you haven’t ever had huckleberries before I demand you try something huckleberry. It’s pretty much one of my favorite flavors. Mmmmmmmm. Thank you Donna and Gary (Andrew’s parents).
  
• A gift card to MAC makeup. I adore MAC thank you so much Julie (Poop).
  
• A necklace, bracelet, and free visit for hair maintenance. Thank you Tovi! I will see you tomorrow for some good hair TLC!
  
• Cupcakes, a candle, and the movie 13 Going on 30. Thank you Annie and Jim! I apologize if you think our house stinks, but I like the candle anyway. *wink wink*
  
• A speeding ticket and the money to pay for it. Thanks Mom and Dad (for the money that is)! Yep that’s right I got a speeding ticket on my birthday. I was on my way to work and I was running a little late, so I guess I was speeding a little. Ok so maybe I was going 24 miles over the speed limit, but that’s not the point. Ok so it is the point, but it was my birthday, so I thought the highway patrol would take pity on me, but nooooo of course not. Why would he do something like that? He did only give me a ticket for 10 miles over the speed limit which was nice of him cause I’m sure he could have taken my license away or arrested me or something similar. In my defense I haven’t been caught speeding before had a speeding ticket before, but apparently that also counts for nothing. I definitely should have cried when he told me he was giving me a ticket, but I didn’t. Why? I don’t know, maybe it had something to with me thinking about blogging about the incident instead of thinking about what was going on. I did cry when I got to my office though, but only a little. Thanks a lot Mr. Officer for making me cry on my birthday, I hope you're happy with yourself. Yes I know I was in the wrong and I go the speed limit now (on the mine road), but still making someone cry on their birthday isn’t very nice. Did I mention that I was driving a company vehicle? Not a big deal, but I thought I would add it anyway.
  
• I also got some pretty cute cards, so thank you to everyone else too. I thoroughly enjoyed your company and I think we had a pretty good time. Don’t worry Angie that commercial with the shuttle-cock stuck in that guy’s leg is not real.

I have a pretty awesome group of friends and family. Thank you everyone for being so awesome.

Left to right: Annie & Jim, Andrew, Julie (hiding behind Andrew), Tovi, Troy, Angie & Bryon, and in the fun sombrero is me (Juanita)

This morning on my way to work I was listening to the radio. They have this game they call “Where’d it happen?” They find these funny redneck stories, tell you about them, give you multiple places to choose from, and the first person to guess it right is the winner of a prize.

Their story today was about a guy in Chicago who walked into a Muffler store and told the workers to open up the safe. They informed him that the only person with access to the safe was the owner and he wasn’t there. The robber then proceeded to give the workers his phone number explaining that when the owner returned they should call him, so he could come back and rob them. What an idiot!

A few hours later the workers called the guy (and the police) and when he got there the police shot him in the leg. I think he deserved it. If you're going to be an idiot, give yourself up, return to the scene of the crime, and all the while not realize what an idiot you're being...yep you deserve to be shot in the leg.

(Picture me shaking my fist in the air at the clip)

Today I was looking on the internet for one of these:

I couldn’t think of what it might be called, so I searched the site using:

• Cubicle panel clips
  
• Cubicle panel accessories
  
• Cubicle panel fasteners
  
• Cubicle panel connectors
  
• Cubicle panels
  
• Clips

Not one of those gave me what I was looking for. I knew those darn things had to be somewhere on that site because my boss ordered some panels along with the aforementioned “darn things,” but for some reason I couldn’t find them. I also scanned through the catalog and couldn’t find them. I didn’t look through the catalog with an eagle eye though because it’s 4,070 pages.

I resorted to the only thing I could think of that would help me. Nooo I didn’t go ask my boss what they were called, of course not. I called Andrew. He knows I’m special and he doesn’t judge me for it. The longer I can keep it a secret from the people I work with the better, especially my boss. So when I called him this is what happened:

Me - I need help. I’m going to explain to you what I’m looking for and hopefully you can tell me what they're called.
Andrew - Ok.
Me - You know what a cubicle looks like? You know how there are those things that hold them together?
Andrew - …?
Me – When you have two sections of panels and you need to hold them together there are those things…
Andrew – I know what you mean I just don’t know what they are called.

He then proceeded to go to the site I was looking on.

Andrew – I think I found them.

Mind you about 2 seconds had gone by.

Me – What did you type in?
Andrew – Cubicle.

I typed Cubicle in the search.

Me – grumble grumble That is exactly what I was looking for.
Andrew – Did you try using Google to figure out what they were called?
Me – No because I wanted to order them from this specific site.
Andrew – The Google machine can still help you figure out what they’re called.
Me – Yeah well I didn’t think of that.
Andrew - You just need more experience Googling stuff.
Pause…
Me – I’m missing the part of my brain that knows stuff.

Words to live by:

“If you don’t hold onto your money now, life will pull down your pants and punch you in the money bags.” - Suze Orman (who is actually Kristen Wiig) on SNL

We decided we wanted to have cereal for dinner the other night (because it was easy and good) and this is the conversation we had:

Andrew - Do you want Fiber One?

Me - Eew no. I already pooped today.

Andrew - It's not for today...it's for tomorrow.

The reason we have Fiber One in the first place was for this recipe and this one too. We tried the cheese sticks and they were pretty good for a healthy option. We haven't tried the chicken yet, but I think it looks good.

So far it looks like I’m the only one that is going to take my challenge. That’s alright I see how it is.

Andrew and I are living in sin, so I’m going to tell you about how we met. I think it would be fun to talk about a fantasy proposal, but I want it to be organic and happen on it’s own with out any persuasion from me (not that I don’t want one, but…).

Here goes…

Andrew moved here from Montana to take a job with a local mine in January of 2005. I started working for the same company a short time after that, but I wasn’t available at the time. I’m not the type of person that has a wandering eye and I dedicate myself to the person I’m with, so I didn’t notice Andrew in the beginning. I think it’s only fair to your significant other and respectful (even if you despise them) to be faithful. I’m all about r-e-s-p-e-c-t. After I wizened up (became single) I took some time and started to take notice of a very good looking guy in the department I was working for (Andrew).

In the beginning I totally thought he saw me as an idiot. In my mind I was that dumb girl that couldn’t figure out the copy machine right across from his desk. He constantly had to save me from myself when I tried to use/ break it.

I started flirting with him, asking him a million questions, and I always tried to find reasons to be in the vicinity with him. At the time he was working for two different mine sites owned by the same company, so no matter which site he was at I would try to spend a little more time at that particular site. I’m not sure if he knows that or not, but now he will. I was working as a Parts Runner, so I was able to travel between these two sites quite frequently. I had such a huge crush on him and I really wanted him to notice me. I told him about the local comedy night that occurred every Thursday and I told him he should join my friend and I sometime.

The only time I got to see him outside of work was on the weekend going to dinner or out to bars. I took what I could get in the beginning because he told me he wouldn't tell me where his house was. His reasoning...he was afraid that if he told me I would never leave. Fast forward for a minute...he was right. Now he's stuck with me because I won't leave.

Ok back to the beginning again. The first time we ever went out alone was to a local bar in early February. We were having a good time, we had a few (several) drinks, and I remember we were playing pool. It was a Thursday night, so there were only a few people in the bar. I kept trying to talk him into calling in sick the next day, so we could stay out later. Secretly I just didn't want to go home (or him to go home) because I knew that would be the end of our evening together. I'm going to confess now that I'm a light weight when it comes to drinking, so I was pretty tipsy playing pool. The next part is a little fuzzy, but I still know what happened. Andrew was sitting on a stool leaning against one of the tables beside the pool table all smooth like and that's when I pounced. It was more of a I'm trying to be sexy, so don't think I'm stupid kind of pounce. I leaned in real slow and kissed him. It was heaven. I was so excited. I actually kissed him.


Next. (This is how it should have happened) He took me in his arms and confessed that he had been dying to kiss me from the first time he laid eyes on me, but nnnooooooo. You wanna know what really happened? Whether you do or not here's the cold hard truth. Approximately two minutes after I practically threw myself at him I had to excuse myself to the ladies' room to vomit. How sexy is that?

I returned to the bar trying to compose myself along the way and I decided it would be a good idea to down two huge glasses of water. Guess what? Not such a good idea. I then returned to the bathroom to spew once more. I'm sure at this point he was so impressed.

Upon my return to the bar I decided this time I would sip my water more slowly. This surely would cure my ailment. Once again I had to excuse myself and... yep you guessed it...I had to be sick...again!

This is when Andrew decided it would be a good idea to take me home. In hindsight it was probably for the best.

After falling asleep in the passenger seat of his car he woke me up long enough to drop me off at my house, and drove himself home probably thanking his lucky stars the night was finally over. I found my way to my bed and woke up the next morning naked from the waste down with a very hazy recollection of the past evening.

So that's how it all started. There it is in all it's gloriousness.

Happy First Day of Spring! This is always an exciting time of year because it means it’s time for the weather to get warm again. It’s time to break out the flip flops, tank tops, and fruity drinks with little umbrellas (well…it’s always time for drinks, but you get the point). I hate being cold, so it’s always nice knowing there is warm weather right around the corner.

According to the radio it is also Proposal Day. What’s that you may be asking? Well simply put it’s a day to celebrate popping the question, gettin’ down on one knee, asking for her (or his) hand in marriage. I wondered how they could even know that and where they get their information, so I used the Google machine and this site shows that it truly is Proposal Day as well as Absolutely Incredible Kid Day, Sweater Day (Happy Birthday to Mr. Rogers R.I.P.), Companies That Care Day, Snowman Burning, and many others. I had no idea until going to this site that there were so many things to celebrate. I mean I’m very thankful for many things, but I had no idea there were special days to celebrate such as Awkward Moments Day (3/18) or Planet Uranus Day (3/13).

So I am giving my readers (fellow bloggers) a challenge or meme if you want to call it that, but I would like to name it The Proposal Challenge. I would like to know how your significant other proposed to you. If you have already written about it give me a link to it, if you haven’t, comment to me about it or post a blog about it (then let me know). I’m just being (nosy) curious about how it all went down. If you are not married tell me how you would like to be proposed to or how you met your partner. This is meant in fun, so don’t stress over it. Like I said before I’m just curious. If you think I’m silly for this I completely understand, I know I’m silly, but you gotta admit you are curious how it happened to other people. Right? So get to it, you are officially tagged. I wait in anticipation of your responses.

in going to the doctor if they aren't really going to tell you what's wrong with you? I mean they went to school for how long and they aren't really giving you any good information. Or at least that's how I'm feeling at the moment.

I was feeling pretty lucky because I hadn't gotten sick like everyone else in the area and it finally came around to bite me in the butt. I started to get a tickle in my throat on Tuesday and it just escalated from there. I didn't go to work yesterday or today, because I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate me hacking (coughing) all over the place. I actually don't cough very often, but when I do it sucks large anus and just now as I'm writing this I had a sneezing fit that didn't treat me too nicely. It also hurts to talk for long periods of time and if you know me at all you know that it's practically impossible for me to be quiet.

I called yesterday to get an appointment with the doctor and there weren't any available, so they gave me one for today. While on the phone the nurse asked what the problem was and I told her I have a soar throat and my head hurts. So today I stayed home from work to go to my doctor's appointment and when I got there I had to fill out a million forms (all with practically the same information on them and yes I am exaggerating, but I'm sick...so there), then when they called me back the nurse asked me what the problem was, so I told her. She took my vitals and told me the doctor would be in shortly. A little while later the doctor came in, sat down, and asked what the problem was. Seriously it says on the paper right in front of you what is wrong with me and I'm pretty sure the lady in here before you wrote down that it hurts for me to talk. Anyway...he listened to my breathing, looked in my ears, nose and mouth and asked, "Did she take a throat swab?" I said no, so he just walked out. A minute later the nurse walked in and said, "Was it you I was supposed to give the throat swab to, because he said 'give him a throat swab?'" Well as you can see I'm not a man, but yes I am the one that needs a throat swab. (Apparently the throat swab will tell if I have Strep. throat or not.)

The doctor came back in and said, "the test came back negative, but I'm going to treat you for Strep. anyway." Ummm ok...I guess...Whatever you say. You're the doctor right?

I apologize if this was an incoherent rambling of a sick person (physically, not mentally), but I wanted to do something other than sleep and shovel cough drops into my mouth like they were candy. I hope you are all feeling well.

Oh and there are a couple of good things to come out of being sick: Andrew is taking good care of me and I have insurance! Woohoo!

Ok so I'm not really a "miner", but I do work for a mine now. I have been working there for two weeks now and I think it is finally time I talked about it for a minute or two. I got a job with this mine which is about 45 minutes from where I live which might not seem that appealing, but they gave me a company vehicle to drive, so I won't complain too much. Let me take a minute to add that if you have any questions about mining go ahead and ask. I have been around this business my whole life and I take it for granted sometimes that people just know what it's all about. I will warn you though I won't go into too much detail about the mine I am working for because...well...I don't want to get fired.

This is a piece of equipment used to drill holes in the walls of the underground to put explosives in.

The wire mesh and those dark squares are used to hold the ceiling in place.

It's always nice to know which way the exit is.

This sign says "primary escape."

This is called a refuge chamber. If there is ever an emergency underground this is where we are supposed to seek shelter. This thing is tiny and God help the people that would be stuck in this thing with me if we have to use it. Like I said before I am slightly claustrophic and this pop can just isn't big enough.

This is an example of what it looks like underground. There are no lights other than the cap lamp on the forehead of your hard hat, so it's very dark. Imagine a night when the moon is hidden behind the clouds and it's really dark...take that and multiply it by about 100...that's what it's like underground. Completely and utterly pitch black. You can't even see your own hand in front of your face if you turn your cap lamp off. I am going to go ahead and confess now that I am afraid of the dark, so once again God help those around me if my lamp ever goes out.

When I looked straight down this is what I saw. Water. If you dig far enough into the ground you will eventually find water. This is why mines have a dewatering system in place. Unfortunately it doesn't always get all the water and because I am height challenged the water at some points came close to my knees.

A few nights ago Andrew got a sharp pain in his chest when we were getting ready to go to bed and didn’t think much of it. (Don’t worry he didn’t have a heart attack.) All day Tuesday he felt tension in his chest and it wouldn’t go away, so he decided to go on Web MD to see what it had to say. No matter what he typed in or clicked on, it told him he should be seeking immediate medical attention. So what did he do? He waited until I was off work to drive the 10 minutes from my mine site to his to pick him up and take him 45 minutes back to town to the emergency room.

When we got there he went to sign in and told the guy at the desk he had been having sharp pains in his chest and a continual tension. There were 3 or 4 people already waiting to get in, but I didn’t think we would have to wait because well…he’s been having chest pains. The guy told him to have a seat and they would get him back as soon as they could. Two and a half hours later they called him back. Let me repeat that…Two. And. A. Half. Hours. Later. The nurse took his vitals, asked him what the issue was, and sent us back to the waiting room because they didn’t have a room available yet.

If you have a bad memory like me you may have already forgotten what the problem is, so being the nice gal I am I’ll remind you. He has been having CHEST PAIN. While we were waiting my Dad called. This is how the conversation went down:
Dad: “You got a letter from (the place I work), and I wasn’t sure if it was important, so I stopped by your house and the lights are out and no one answered the door.”
Me: “That’s because we aren’t home…we’re at the emergency room”
I then proceeded to explain why and he said: “You’ve been there that long and they haven’t taken an EKG or anything????”
Me: “Nope. Apparently chest pain isn’t a big deal around here.”
Dad: “I’d be suing the hospital for $8 billion if there ends up being something wrong.”
Oh only $8 billion huh? Wow! We had a pretty good laugh about that.

They finally took him back and set him up for an EKG which involved several sticky patches attached to the hairiest part of his chest and lots of wires. The nurse laughed saying it was going to be fun ripping those off afterward and she told me I could do the honors if I wanted to. I liked her, but for some reason Andrew didn't find the humor. There was a monitor behind his head that showed his vitals and I had a pretty good time giving him the play by play of what it said. I have no idea what most of it meant, but I made it up as I went. At one point there was a loud beeping going on and flashing red lights and we both thought he was dying. Apparently we were wrong because no one came running and thankfully he is still alive. The EKG showed his heart is doing great, so that wasn't the issue.

The doctor poked, prodded, asked tons of questions, and decided to give him a GI Cocktail to see if it was heartburn. All that did was make his throat numb. Awesome. They then proceeded to take a chest x-ray which also showed his chest doing great. So you may be wondering what was wrong with him. Well honestly we don’t know and the doctor didn’t either. She thought it might be inflammation in the chest wall, so she ordered a shot of something that started with a T, 800 mg of ibuprofen every 8 hours, and if the pain returns he should go back to the hospital. Hmmmm…Did that help? No. Do we feel better about the situation? No. What are we going to do now? I don’t know.

OH…while we were waiting for the results of the x-ray we had to keep ourselves occupied (keep in mind that we were there for a total of 4 hours), so you know what we did? I’m kind of embarrassed to say, but Andrew was trying to teach me how to blow air out of the bottom of my mouth. You know how when you stick out your tongue and blow it makes a silly farty noise and your top lip kind of just flails around? Oh you don’t know. Dang it. Well take my word for it. So anyway when Andrew does this it is reversed and the air comes out of the bottom of his mouth and makes his bottom lip flail about. I couldn’t get it right for the life of me. The other people in the emergency room probably thought I was farting myself to death in our room.

When the doctor first entered our room she told us we had to stop laughing. I’m pretty sure she was joking, but she had to remind us we were in the ER. Side note: occasionally I revert back to about four years old just in case you were wondering. I was delirious, we were hungry, and Andrew was ready to tell them he felt better just to get out of there.

FYI: Just so you don’t think we’re some kind of freaks that think heart or chest problems are a laughing matter I thought you should know that Andrew was feeling fine and wanted to keep the mood light. If he wouldn’t have been feeling well or the pain returned believe me I wouldn’t have been laughing.

Let me start off by saying that Andrew does not like dark chocolate. I don’t either, but that’s not the point. We were in a gas station the other day pondering what to get and we stopped by the candy. Andrew is very fond of coconut and milk chocolate, so he was considering an Almond Joy or Mounds. Well…Mounds are made with dark chocolate, so that was definitely out and Almond Joys have nuts (he doesn’t particularly like nuts either). What to do? What to do? So I say, “Why don’t you get the Almond Joy and I'll eat your nuts?” He thought that was hysterical and took it upon himself to tell my parents the “funny” story.