Letter Opener
Thursday, July 26, 2007 Posted In Home , Work Edit This 2 Comments »
So once again...you know I'm crazy right?
If you were not already aware I am a very jumpy person and I guess you could say I am also a little paranoid. Even the littlest things will get a good 3 foot jump out of me. For example I know Andrew is in the house because I just stopped talking to him to go to the kitchen. Not even a minute later he "sneaks" into the kitchen behind me and pokes me or says my name. This is always followed by a jump, scream, and a pain in my chest. Don't ask me why, but this is what happens. It used to bring tears to my eyes when something would startle me. It wasn't necessarily crying, but more along the lines of watering.
Whenever I have to stay at home alone overnight, or anywhere for that matter, to be comfortable I need to have a sharp object somewhere in my vicinity just in case. Occasionally Andrew has to go work in Carlin and he stays overnight which leaves me home alone. One of the first times I had to stay by myself I will admit I was a little nervous, so I decided to keep something sharp by the bed. My "weapon" of choice happened to be a pair of scissors. I forgot the scissors were there and when Andrew came home he questioned them. I explained to him my paranoia and he replied, "How are you going to protect yourself with a pair of dull scissors?" The right answer (or at least the answer that would make sense to Andrew) would have been "it just makes me feel more secure." The answer I actually give is "I would stab or cut the intruder." Thinking about this now it does sound silly, but it made sense at the time.
My most recent encounter with needing a sharp object was yesterday at work. I was alone (which isn't new because I am at work by myself quite often), so I made sure all of the doors to the shop were locked. A couple of hours later I heard a noise in the shop, so instantly my instinct to think the worst kicked in. I decided I should probably go check it out, but first I needed some kind of protection. I looked at my desk and saw the letter opener which has a pretty good tip on it and I stuck it in my pocket. Of course there was nothing out there and I didn't have to use the letter opener, but at least I was prepared.
When I told Andrew about my ordeal he once again asked the logical question, "What would you do if you came in contact with someone?" (Note: my memory is horrible, so these quotes may not be word for word.)
I answered, "I would stab the person."
Andrew - "What if they had a gun?"
Me - "I would run, its harder to hit a moving target."
Andrew - "What if they had a knife, would you have a knife fight?"
Me - "If they are close enough to stab me I would stab them."
Andrew - "Where would you stab them?"
Me - "In the eye."
So...if you are ever thinking about sneaking up on me be careful because I might have a sharp object (or something of the sort) in my pocket and I might have to stab you in the eye. You have been warned!
If you were not already aware I am a very jumpy person and I guess you could say I am also a little paranoid. Even the littlest things will get a good 3 foot jump out of me. For example I know Andrew is in the house because I just stopped talking to him to go to the kitchen. Not even a minute later he "sneaks" into the kitchen behind me and pokes me or says my name. This is always followed by a jump, scream, and a pain in my chest. Don't ask me why, but this is what happens. It used to bring tears to my eyes when something would startle me. It wasn't necessarily crying, but more along the lines of watering.
Whenever I have to stay at home alone overnight, or anywhere for that matter, to be comfortable I need to have a sharp object somewhere in my vicinity just in case. Occasionally Andrew has to go work in Carlin and he stays overnight which leaves me home alone. One of the first times I had to stay by myself I will admit I was a little nervous, so I decided to keep something sharp by the bed. My "weapon" of choice happened to be a pair of scissors. I forgot the scissors were there and when Andrew came home he questioned them. I explained to him my paranoia and he replied, "How are you going to protect yourself with a pair of dull scissors?" The right answer (or at least the answer that would make sense to Andrew) would have been "it just makes me feel more secure." The answer I actually give is "I would stab or cut the intruder." Thinking about this now it does sound silly, but it made sense at the time.
My most recent encounter with needing a sharp object was yesterday at work. I was alone (which isn't new because I am at work by myself quite often), so I made sure all of the doors to the shop were locked. A couple of hours later I heard a noise in the shop, so instantly my instinct to think the worst kicked in. I decided I should probably go check it out, but first I needed some kind of protection. I looked at my desk and saw the letter opener which has a pretty good tip on it and I stuck it in my pocket. Of course there was nothing out there and I didn't have to use the letter opener, but at least I was prepared.
When I told Andrew about my ordeal he once again asked the logical question, "What would you do if you came in contact with someone?" (Note: my memory is horrible, so these quotes may not be word for word.)
I answered, "I would stab the person."
Andrew - "What if they had a gun?"
Me - "I would run, its harder to hit a moving target."
Andrew - "What if they had a knife, would you have a knife fight?"
Me - "If they are close enough to stab me I would stab them."
Andrew - "Where would you stab them?"
Me - "In the eye."
So...if you are ever thinking about sneaking up on me be careful because I might have a sharp object (or something of the sort) in my pocket and I might have to stab you in the eye. You have been warned!
2 comments:
I am totally scared of being home alone at night. Doug makes fun of me because I have an "escape plan", you know...just in case.
That is not a bad idea! He is just jealous he didn't think of it first.
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