As You Wish

I had to go to our local clinic today for a physical and drug screen for my new job. Let me start by saying it was such a pain. As you might have read here you know I hate doing a urine test. Today I managed to make it through peeing in a cup with out urinating all over myself (score for me). The worst part of today was not only did I have to pee in a cup, but my company also requires a hair sample to be taken. Apparently drugs can stay in your hair for a long time and it is a pretty accurate indicator of whether or not you have done drugs. The nurse asked me to sit in a chair and she separated my hair and cut a chunk out of the back at the root. That's right I said a chunk. I was very unhappy when I turned around and saw the amount of hair she cut off. It isn't at all noticable when you look at my hair, but I found the spot later in no time at all. Yes I am bitter, but I will get over it.

While I was sitting in the waiting room a guy and his 3 or 4 year old daughter walked in. I then witnessed this conversation between the two of them:

Girl - "What is that?"
Dad - "Chalk."
Girl - "Cock?"
Dad - "Chhhalllk."
Girl - "...Cock!"

I thought to myself oh the innocence of youth...how cute.

A few weeks ago we went sledding with some friends. It was so much fun!

Some friends of ours were having some computer trouble yesterday, so they called us. Why did they call us you may be asking. Well...Andrew seems to be the go to guy when something is wrong with computers. He has a wealth of knowledge about computers and if he doesn't know what the problem is or how to fix it he is a master of the Google machine. "Just Google it!" I always hear him say when I am having trouble figuring something out. So...he told our friends we would be over after dinner to take a look at their possibly diseased machine.

Speaking of diseased (not that they have any diseases, but read on). Our friends have been sick for quite some time with what I'm pretty sure could be called death. Unfortunately for them they haven't been able to get well for over a month now and Bryon has pneumonia (poor guy). Being the funny couple that we are we decided to get some masks to wear over to their house while Andrew worked.

It just so happened that we were going over to my parent's house for dinner and they happen to have these masks that we were hoping for. My dad said he could do us one better and he walked in with these white Tyvek suits. We were both very excited. It was going to be awesome when they opened the door and we were standing there looking like this:

We drove the entire way to their house wearing these and I think we were equally excited to see their reaction. I know we are silly, but we get a kick out of ourselves.

There is a warning on the masks we were wearing and it says, "This respirator helps protect against certain dusts and mists." Okay so far so good and then it moves on to say, "Misuse may result in sickness or death." Well that's not good. Don't worry no one was hurt in the making of this blog.

I was offered a job today and I accepted it. Yay yay yay! I am so happy. I will be working in an office which I am used to and I am pretty excited about it. I will blog more about it later, but that's all for now.

I wanted to change my look a bit, so I got my hair cut yesterday. What do you think? These are the flowers that Andrew sent to me at work on Valentine's Day. I love to receive flowers, it is such a special feeling.



This next picture is of the Slanket he also got for me. I am standing on the couch and it still touches the floor. I love it!

Update on my job situation: I have an interview on Monday and another one on Tuesday. I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed that one of them works out for me.

Ok so I really haven't been hit, but I have been tagged by Tootsie Farklepants. I haven't been tagged before, so this is new to me. (Tootsie - there are no feelings of hate toward you. It might be weird that I think this, but I'm glad you noticed me and wanted to tag me.)

The rules are as follows:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
5. Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.

So here goes...only 7 huh?

#1 Sometimes I snort when I laugh. It doesn't happen everytime I laugh, but I have noticed that when I have a good gut busting laugh there are several snorts sprinkled in there.

#2 I have performed in the pregame and halftime shows of two Super Bowls. That would be Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa, Florida and XXXVI in New Orleans, Louisiana.

#3 When I was little Allison I called quarters (25 cents) big nickels. Don't ask. I have no idea. It must have been one of those kids say the cutest things moments. "Mommy can I have a big nickel?"

#4 I have to smell everything before I eat it. The only exception is if I have eaten it several times before. If its new to me, I'm unsure of what it is, or it looks funny I definitely need to smell it before putting it in my mouth. Hello its going in my mouth!

#5 When riding an escalator I don't touch the rail. I border OCD when it comes to this. I can only imagine the disgusting things that are waiting on those rails. Eew eew eew. Andrew thinks its funny to push me on escalators so I am forced to touch the side. Just so you know...its not funny.

#6 I burp like a man. I can't make myself burp, but just about anything I eat or drink makes me burpy. My mom is not impressed at all. She thinks I'm a "leetle peeg." (That's "little pig" for those of you that don't speak Momese.)

#7 I have ripped a phone book in half. I wasn't mad; I just did it for fun.

So now it is time to tag others. I apologize in advance if you don't like being tagged. I don't mean to cause any hate or discontent, but here goes.

Bagpipe Fever
DJ Kirby
EmilyPie
Having My Cake...
Le Petit Chic
Hubcap's Revenge
Twipply Skwood

Enjoy!

I was given the task of delivering a welcome basket today to an interviewee. When a qualified candidate (interviewee) is asked to come in for an interview for a salary position they are given a basket of welcome gifts. This basket (which is actually a lunch box with the company logo on it) includes a water bottle, keychain, calculator, clock, pen, chocolate, some information about things that happen locally, and a small vile of gold flakes. It might not seem that exciting, but hey its better than nothing.

I was asked to deliver this basket of goodness to the hotel where the guy will be staying, so...I gathered the items, set my cell phone on top of it, grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I took the basket into the hotel and left it, went to the store, and drove back to the office. This is when I realized I left my cell phone in the basket at the hotel. Thankfully this guy wasn't supposed to show up until later in the evening, otherwise he would have thought this is an awesome company because he just got a free phone. I don't think so. Like the idiot that I am I got to walk back into the hotel and ask the front desk for my phone. That was awesome.

This is ALF, if you were curious.

I'm going to start with today and work my way back to yesterday. I know its a little backwards, but...whateva.

I was given the task of looking for new service awards for Newmont's employees. (Newmont is where my temp job is taking place; I will explain more at a later date.) Right now they only receive a Carhartt jacket which is only cool to some people. Today I was looking online for a good knife that can be engraved with Newmont's logo. While looking at one of the websites I came across a small knife with a description that read as follows: "Is junior having problems at school? Is he being bullied or pushed around? You've tried self defense and psychology, new clothes and biting venacular, but nothing seems to be working. That's why you should invest in personalized junior aluminum folding knives." My thoughts...WTF?????? I was truly disturbed by this and I had to tell practically everyone that would listen to me what a horrible idea that is. I would have blogged earlier, but they frown upon doing personal business while at work. I finally read more of the description and it said, "Okay we're just kidding...Really don't give them to children." I still feel disturbed by this and I don't think saying "just kidding" makes it ok. Here little guy, you can't stick up for yourself, so take this knife to school. You might get expelled or the bully might take it from you and stab you with it, but that's okay. Argh!

Ok now back to yesterday. I see quite a few names in the course of a day and I just have to list a few of the honorable mentions:

• Clifford Hanger
• Holly Wood
• Mrs. Moore-Mann
• Richard Seaman
• Michael Hunt (the key to this name is saying Mike followed by his last name, sorry if you got that already, but I wouldn't have gotten it)

That's all for now. I still have five more days at this office, so hopefully more blog-worthy things happen.

We went to the movie theatre tonight and saw The Bucket List. It was a really good movie. I recommend it to anyone looking for something to do.

One of my favorite parts was when Jack Nicholson was talking to his assistant and gave him three things to live by:

• "Never pass up a bathroom."
• "Never waste a hard on."
• "Never trust a fart."

What more do you really need to know?

The following is completely unrelated to the previous story. For a couple of years Andrew played on a local pool league and now he only fills in when he is needed. He got a call this week because they were desperate for him to fill in, so he said he would do it. Its not really that big of a deal; all he has to do is show up and play four rounds of pool. The lady on the other team walked up to him, told him her name, and asked for his. Of course his response was, "Andrew." She asked, "Curt?" I can see how she could mistake Andrew for Curt...wait no I can't.

I am currenty working a temporary job for a couple of weeks for a mining company in our area. They have an office in town which houses most of the human resources department. If you have ever wondered what the HR department talks about I am about to tell you (don't worry I won't divulge all your secrets).

Yesterday several of the ladies were talking about bras. That caught my attention, so I started listening to what they were saying. One of them noticed I was now listening to them and she asked me, "How do you put your bra on?" I was confused at first because I wasn't aware that there was an abundance of ways. She then went on to ask, "Do you clasp your bra in the front and twist it around or do you put your bra on and then reach your arms around back to clasp it?" Seven women were polled and four out of the seven clasp their bras in the front and twist it to the back, two put on their bra and clasp in back, and one wears sports bras all the time. If there is any interest in knowing, I clasp my bra in front and then twist it.

Now you know what the ladies in HR talk about. Aren't you jealous you don't get to do my job?